Meet Tameka from New Jersey!
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Hi everyone! Give a great big welcome to Tameka! How are you today mama?
Today I am feeling better than yesterday. I’m in a good mood and great spirits. I am also feeling optimistic about the future.
How many children do you have?
I have 4 children. My twin girls are 15 years old, a son that is 13 years old, and a baby boy that just celebrated a birthday and is 12 months old.
How old were you when you had your first child?
I was 23 years when I became a mother.
Do you remember your initial reaction when you found out you were pregnant?
Yes, I was in shock and denial. I had military orders to go to Cuba and upon my physical they informed me I wasn’t going because I was pregnant.
What first comes to mind when you think of mental health?
How unprepared we, in the black community, are to discuss and deal with it.
How was your mental health before you became a mama? How has motherhood changed or improved your mental health?
My mental health before I became a mother was pretty good. I was young, independent, a good job while in school, and engaged to be married.
Do you self-care?
As busy as I am with the kids and everything, I don’t self-care as much as I should. My self-care usually is carving time out for myself to relax my mind and includes reading, vibing to music, quiet time soaking in a bathtub, a massage, and venting whatever I’m feeling/going through at the monthly ’roundtable’ (what we call it) over lunch/dinner with my girlfriends.
Do you have any stories you’d like to share?
After my 1st son was born, I knew that my kid’s father and I were going to end. I called off the engagement to focus on and fix our problems. They didn’t get fixed and 8 months later it was officially over. I was now a single mother at 26 years old, with 3 babies under 3. It was so hard. I had more than a few breakdowns. Zero help from the father. I had to drop out of school. I was an A student in college, majoring in Accounting. As many times as I cried, I told myself I can’t give up and would hug and kiss my babies. To date, my kids are some of the most well rounded and happy kids you can find. All are honors students as well. I’m so glad I didn’t give up on them.
Advice for other mama’s…
It takes a lot of effort and energy to be a mama. There will be good days and bad days. A lot of tears and laughs. Sometimes, you’ll have so much going on and no one to help. Take a deep breath and just do your best and everything will work out. And give the babies plenty of love. When kids are loved they feel secure and safe.
A little more about Tameka!
What’s your drink of choice?
A cherry Pepsi or glass of wine.
Do you have a favorite movie?
Five Heartbeats is my fav movie. Anytime I need a smile.
What’s the cutest thing your kids have done?
My 13-year-old son made me breakfast in bed when he was 8, because he realized I hadn’t ate in the morning. He smiled and told me, “You gotta eat mom”
My one twin wrote that she wanted to be Oprah, a businesswoman, when she was 5. The oldest twin at 3 yrs old, made herself the bodyguard of her sister in daycare and didn’t allow anyone to mess with her sister.
Do you have a favorite restaurant or snack?
I don’t have a favorite because I frequent so many. I’m a foodie. Lol
Tell us your go-to song at the moment!
Skip Marley& H.E.R. – Slow Down
Interested in being interviewed for Mothers & Mental Health?
Your voice and your story matter. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject INTERVIEW and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @T_scorner 💋