Mental Health

Your Feelings Are Valid

by tianiangelahibbert

Have you ever had someone try and tell you what you were feeling was wrong? Or has someone ever tried to tell you how to feel? It’s happened to me and yes, you guessed it. I effing hate it (is this a rant now?). It’s usually the people who are so sure of themselves or try to front that they “have it all together”. Well good for you! The people over here in the back can barely get their shoes on in the morning. No, but seriously, all jokes aside. Your feelings should always feel valid.

If you’re anything like me, a lot of the time all of these feelings can be a lot to handle and bring on some unwanted anxieties. Over the years I’ve realized how important it was for me to please others. Even if that meant completely suppressing my feelings. If I felt something but knew it wouldn’t go over well with the other person I’d just choose not to bring it up. Or when I’d start to say how I feel, get interrupted, and then never get back to my feelings. Oh, what about when the other people get mad at you for feeling some type of way? These things have happened too many times.

The way I handle things is a bit different now because although I have all these anxieties and feelings, I’m more understanding that I shouldn’t be ashamed of them. Your feelings are valid because:

The last time I checked, there was only 1 person to a brain. In this case, that person is me (or you). Only I know I’m truly feeling. That is why it upsets me so much when someone thinks it’s okay to invalidate someone else’s feelings. You might not have a clue what’s going on in someones else’s mind.

There aren’t any rules. Even if what you’re feeling isn’t your best there aren’t any rules stating certain feelings are off-limits. Wouldn’t that be something if there were? People probably wouldn’t be so sure of themselves then.

To understand ourselves and certain situations we need to fully process our emotions. I mean, am I wrong here? For me to move forward I have to get to the root of the problem. That way I can find ways to avoid any future issues or at least try and prevent any unwanted feelings the best way possible.

I hate that I used to be scared to express myself. Too many times before I’ve witnessed others second-guessing themselves due to feeling invalidated (myself included). Well no more. I’m here to remind you that your feelings are your feelings and no one can take them from you. Someone who truly loves and respects you will take the time to understand what you’re feeling. This goes for both parties. Give each other the mutual respect we all deserve. Talk soon! 💖

As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @tianiangela_ and my latest video on YouTube💋

15 thoughts on “Your Feelings Are Valid”

  1. Emotions are complicated, and some people have very complex minds. Often times, we try to make sense of our emotions eg. Maybe I have borderline personality disorder (BPD)? Maybe I am crazy? Maybe it’s PMS? Maybe….maybe…..? We can spend hours and hours contemplating these things to figure out our own minds, and replay scenarios from a fight with someone etc., but chances are, we will never truly understand ourselves, or them. And that’s okay. I have given up trying to figure out my own mind.

    Part of the reason why I don’t chase friendships anymore is because people walk in and out of my life all the time. And it’s exhausting. People have ghosted me many times (platonic friendships), and friendships require a lot of energy and effort to maintain with no guarantee that they will last (they hardly ever do). I used to think that I was the problem because the same things would happen again and again and again. I used to be a people pleaser and still am, but I try to catch myself when I find myself doing things to gain approval from others while sacrificing my own well-being. It is hard to change our habits, but as long as we remain mindful of our actions, we have the power to decide what we are willing to put up with.

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  2. Your post really resonates with me. I found it hard to learn how feel and find people who validated my feelings. Plus, living in England, people just don’t do emotions. The “stiff upper lip” is not a stereotype and I became a master of it. It’s been 7 years since I left England, and I am still working on my feelings. It’s impossible to always live with a stiff upper lip

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  3. It is really hard for men to just tell people how they feel sometimes but the most hardest way is for a male teenager to tell his girlfriend how he feels about her same with her because this is always asking them in their mind “does he/she feel the same way??” “does he/she feel the same way??” DOES HE/SHE FEEL THE SAME WAY???” and its rough…

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  5. Thanks so much for sharing your point of view. Emotions certainly are complicated and extremely delicate.

    I can totally relate to you on the friendship. That is exactly the reason why I’ve kept my circle small. Having that power is an amazing feeling. Have a great weekend!

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  9. It’s actually not a common thing to know about. I don’t know if I would call it a stereotype, because my view is that it’s not a stereotype if it is 100% true, which this is. It’s definitely easier up North! Thank you and lots of love to you too ❤

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  12. I also have anxiety and I think that just makes you a lot more sensitive to a lot of things that people who don’t have anxiety never worry about. I used to try to hide my feelings a lot because I always felt like I was being too sensitive and I needed to be stronger but the truth it some people are just more emotional that’s okay. You’re feelings are completely valid no matter how irrational they may seem to someone else. I have had a lot of relationships end because they invalidated my feelings and for me that was a huge red flag.

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  13. This whole comment!!!!!! It’s so important to know that just because someone else may not feel the same way doesn’t mean you can’t have those feelings. Thanks so much for sharing! Glad you caught those red flags too.

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  14. I’m glad you could relate cos I feel like a lot of people don’t get the whole concept of other people are allowed to feel things that you may not and that’s okay…
    Always happy to comment!

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