How many of us have been a victim of microaggressions or blatant racism? Now how many of us have actually addressed the situation or did you just brush it off?
For a while, I didn’t even know what a microaggression was. I thought maybe I was being overdramatic or too sensitive. But these things stuck with me for a reason. It wasn’t until I was older when I learned what it was and what it meant.
A psychologist, Derald W Sue’s defines microaggression as the everyday slights, indignities, put-downs, and insults that people of color, women, LGBT populations, or those who are marginalized experiences in their day-to-day interactions with people.
The Google definition is a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority.
Let’s be real. Racism has always been an issue but now we the people are finally speaking up and ACTUALLYC being heard. I thought this would be a good time to talk about some of my experiences with microaggressions and racism.
I spoke about the 3 major experiences that really messed with my mental health in my Youtube video. I had to make it into 2 videos because it was gonna be way too long! The second video will be about my experience feeling ignored by my white nurse during my labor and delivery.
One thing I always hated growing up was when people told me I spoke “white”. Or that I was pretty for a black girl. I’m pretty sure I spoke about this before. That was always so insulting to me and in no way a “compliment”. if you’re insinuating that I am well-spoken and educated then say that. I heard this A LOT in middle school and like the first 2 years of high school.
My high school was very diversified. We also had probably the greatest amount of kids in the state of NJ. I graduated with 755 other seniors. I enjoyed that. One thing I didn’t enjoy was the group of kids or should I say this one kid who paraded around our school with a ton of confederate flags.
He had it plastered on every single one of his truck windows and he would drive around campus flaunting his white privilege. The schools never said anything about it and it was just always in my face. I know I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable with it. It was triggering.
That reminds me of the one time my 2 cousins and I went for a walk. One of my cousins lives in a very rural area. One blazing hot summer afternoon we decided to take a walk to get Italian ices. A white man who I guess didn’t like the look of us decided it would be cool to shout slurs at us while waving his cartoon size confederate flag out his pick up truck. Uncomfortable right?
Why is it okay to live in a world where this is considered acceptable? None of this is okay. Sadly I have lived my life with unsettling conclusions. For example, I hate to believe that the real reason I didn’t get some jobs I applied for was because of the color of my skin.
I’ve even been in a situation where my minority friends and I felt completely unwelcome in a local restaurant in our town. They treated us like we didn’t even exist.
They had good food though so I decided to give another chance a couple of years later when I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I went and we had a terrible experience. Which basically reiterated that what I felt before was true. As time went on and the BLM movement was happening that same restaurant was being exposed by other people for being racist to their black workers and guests. Guess where I’ll never go again? They even made a statement saying that they would try to do better.
Am I just rambling now? Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?
As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @T_scorner and my latest video on Youtube💋