My Experience With Racism and Microaggressions

How many of us have been a victim of microaggressions or blatant racism? Now how many of us have actually addressed the situation or did you just brush it off?

For a while, I didn’t even know what a microaggression was. I thought maybe I was being overdramatic or too sensitive. But these things stuck with me for a reason. It wasn’t until I was older when I learned what it was and what it meant.

A psychologist, Derald W Sue’s defines microaggression as the everyday slights, indignities, put-downs, and insults that people of color, women, LGBT populations, or those who are marginalized experiences in their day-to-day interactions with people.

The Google definition is a statement, action, or incident regarded as an instance of indirect, subtle, or unintentional discrimination against members of a marginalized group such as a racial or ethnic minority.

Let’s be real. Racism has always been an issue but now we the people are finally speaking up and ACTUALLYC being heard. I thought this would be a good time to talk about some of my experiences with microaggressions and racism.

I spoke about the 3 major experiences that really messed with my mental health in my Youtube video. I had to make it into 2 videos because it was gonna be way too long! The second video will be about my experience feeling ignored by my white nurse during my labor and delivery.

One thing I always hated growing up was when people told me I spoke “white”. Or that I was pretty for a black girl. I’m pretty sure I spoke about this before. That was always so insulting to me and in no way a “compliment”. if you’re insinuating that I am well-spoken and educated then say that. I heard this A LOT in middle school and like the first 2 years of high school.

My high school was very diversified. We also had probably the greatest amount of kids in the state of NJ. I graduated with 755 other seniors. I enjoyed that. One thing I didn’t enjoy was the group of kids or should I say this one kid who paraded around our school with a ton of confederate flags.

He had it plastered on every single one of his truck windows and he would drive around campus flaunting his white privilege. The schools never said anything about it and it was just always in my face. I know I wasn’t the only one who was uncomfortable with it. It was triggering.

That reminds me of the one time my 2 cousins and I went for a walk. One of my cousins lives in a very rural area. One blazing hot summer afternoon we decided to take a walk to get Italian ices. A white man who I guess didn’t like the look of us decided it would be cool to shout slurs at us while waving his cartoon size confederate flag out his pick up truck. Uncomfortable right?

Why is it okay to live in a world where this is considered acceptable? None of this is okay. Sadly I have lived my life with unsettling conclusions. For example, I hate to believe that the real reason I didn’t get some jobs I applied for was because of the color of my skin.

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This is from the restaurants Instagram

I’ve even been in a situation where my minority friends and I felt completely unwelcome in a local restaurant in our town. They treated us like we didn’t even exist.

They had good food though so I decided to give another chance a couple of years later when I was pregnant. My boyfriend and I went and we had a terrible experience. Which basically reiterated that what I felt before was true. As time went on and the BLM movement was happening that same restaurant was being exposed by other people for being racist to their black workers and guests. Guess where I’ll never go again? They even made a statement saying that they would try to do better.

Am I just rambling now? Have you ever been in a situation like this? How did you handle it?

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As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @T_scorner and my latest video on Youtube💋

tiani

8 thoughts on “My Experience With Racism and Microaggressions

  1. I said this on your YouTube video but honestly you’re doing an amazing thing by sharing your experiences. To be honest I can’t really relate because I was home schooled for a bit and when I did go to school everyone there was a POC and all my teachers were POC- the majority Kenyan. I’m also quite light skinned for a brown person which I know doesn’t really spare you from racism but it did protect me from a lot of colourism which is really sad but that’s how the world is. Having darker skin does mean you are statistically way more likely to face certain things compared to people with lighter skin. However, after coming to N. America I do sometimes feel discriminated against which was a bit scary for me at first but I’m more used to it now. Luckily, I feel like it has not been that bad for me in Canada compared to the US. Not saying there isn’t racism here of course I think I’ve just been lucky enough to have avoided it so far. I think what messes with my head the most is when someone is an asshole to you and you can’t help but think is it because they are just not a nice person, is it because they don’t like me or is it because I’m a POC? I don’t know if you can relate to that but for me that has been a bit of a challenge.
    Oh and I hope you don’t mind but I wanted to link this post to my post for tomorrow. Let me know if that’s okay!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Keep sharing , I’ll watch your youtube videos when I have a bit more time . But racism denialism is running rampant and thats not okay . I had a bit of a microaggression with someone on my FB doing the same old no that didn’t happen to you , you’re blowing that out of proportion. Its definitely frustrating. I think they were just defending their state because I brought up in their state’s problem with race when I lived up there.
    I do hope we can change this , so in the future we can have a fair and just society, people waving offensive flags and yelling slurs shouldn’t be accepted as civilized.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you so much for reading and sharing. FB can be full of hateful toxic people sometimes 😖 Sorry you had to go through it as well): You are absolutely right, I do hope we can change this as well!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing your experience. I too can point out racist things that have happened to me. It is the worst feeling. I feel racism will always be around but we can make it better, I hope. We the adults teach our children and this will be passed on to their children. Children are not born racist. Its what they are taught. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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