“She who trusts in the Lord will never be disappointed.” -Isaiah 49:23
September 30, 2019
2 weeks before my actual due date and there was still so much that needed to be done. I had back to back appointments on this date that would determine whether or not I would be induced or let baby Isaiah come on his own. My Ob suggested that I get induced thinking Isaiah was going to be a bigger baby and I would have some difficulties pushing him out due to my abnormal cervix. I was also not dilated and he was all the way up. Ultrasounds speculated he would be about 7 to 7 and a half pounds, which wasn’t too bad but we still wanted to keep that option open. We sent in a request for induction.
I remember going home thinking, “Man I really want to get this baby out of me.” I went home and looked up some labor-inducing workouts and came across one on Youtube. I worked out a total of 2 times my whole entire pregnancy so I don’t know why I thought I was going to work out now. I ended up doing just 2 DEEP. ASS. SQUATS. and called it a night because it felt like the baby was going to come out right then and there.
October 1, 2019
Happy October! I have been waiting nine months for this time of year. I was so excited that there were only 13 days left until my due date. I remember I spent the day watching Prison Break on Hulu while chillin’ with my dog. Being the impatient gal that I normally am, I looked up more ways to induce labor and I found a lot of articles about eating pineapples. So you guessed it, I sent my boyfriend to get me some fresh pineapples. Before I ate that, I ate a ton of pizza. I was so full I went back to doing what I did best…being lazy.
At 6:55 pm my water broke. I was laying in my mom’s bed when I heard a legit pop and gushes of amniotic fluid flooded my mom’s bed and floor. It was honestly like movies. I woke my sleeping sister and we were both SHOOK. As I called my boyfriend to tell him the unexpected news my sister was trying to help me off of the bed while also trying to dodge the large amount of fluids wetting her legs and feet. Poor sis but oh well. Even Jb (my dog) got to feel the leak! As I was going up the stairs I left puddles and puddles of baby juice around my house that my little old grandmother had to clean up.
I was doing a great job of keeping calm, despite my family going wild. My hospital bag wasn’t fully packed due to the fact that I thought I had more time so I calmly started packing what I needed. The contractions started coming 20 minutes later and that’s when it started to get real. I couldn’t even finish putting my eyebrows on. My mom came home from work early and the 3 of us left for the hospital.
We took the 30-minute drive to St. Barnabas while blasting Kid Cudi’s Man On The Moon, one of my all-time favorite songs that make me feel like everything is going to be okay.
I was wheeled up to the PET unit to confirm it was my water that broke and in-fact it was. I was officially in labor and still, only 1 cm dilated. While I waited for a room to open up in labor and delivery, I was hooked up to a ton of machines and I kept being violated with hands to see if I was progressing. Since I wasn’t they told me that eventually, they would induce me with the foley balloon.
Finally, it was time to move and the contractions got more intense. It was a pain I had never felt before. It was SO intense I started throwing up. Remember that pizza I had earlier? Let’s just say everyone knew what I had for lunch. I started crying from how much pain I was in but little did I know that it actually gets worse. I couldn’t wait to get an epidural. In the middle of all this pain and tears, I had a very unpleasant nurse that I ended up arguing with. She was looking at her phone the whole time and when she wasn’t she was giving me an attitude for no reason. She must’ve had a bad day, not sure but that was not the time to express it. This witch was so mean I had her negative ass removed. My new nurse was absolutely amazing. She got extra points for being African American which meant a lot to me.
October 2, 2019
During labor, my son wasn’t getting enough oxygen and his pulse started to drop. About 12 different people ran in my room and I had no idea what was going on. I was so nervous. My sleeping mother woke up confused, my boyfriend was also confused while holding my hand as they threw an oxygen mask on. I asked if everything was okay while starting to cry. They basically told me in a much nicer way that my son wasn’t breathing and that they had to prepare me for an emergency c section. My anxiety started to kick in but they told me that was making it worse. After the panic, luckily they were able to get his pulse back up.
Although I got the epidural I still felt so much pressure on my rectum due to how the baby was positioned. It was so extremely painful I cried and squeezed Dwayne’s hand with each contraction. It felt like I had to poop but it was really my son’s head waiting to come out. My nurse told me we can try some practice pushes and those turned into the real thing.
My original doctor hadn’t arrived yet but I wasn’t surprised because it was like 3 am. The on-call doctor and those same 12 other people came into the room because my son wasn’t breathing again. That meant emergency c section but I needed to push. I couldn’t help but push. NICU was on standby waiting to take him from me. I pushed for what seemed like hours but it just wasn’t happening. My doctor finally arrived, but at that point, I didn’t even care due to how exhausted I was. My mouth was so dry and I just felt so weak. I wanted to give up and just let them do the c section. I remember crying to my boyfriend that I couldn’t do it.
They tried to use the vacuum and my baby still wasn’t coming out. My son was stuck. His shoulder was stuck behind my pelvic bone also known as shoulder dystocia. His body couldn’t come out. I remember my doctor forcefully putting her hands in my vagina basically trying to pull him out. My pushes were so weak that they told me I had to go harder and I did. I felt the ring of fire. I felt every single burn while pushing that baby out. I screamed and I cried but it was all worth it because at 4:11 am my son was born. I was extremely worried because he wasn’t crying. Not a peep. They took him from me right away. I kept praying that everything was okay and minutes later I heard some noise. As I waited for them to finish stitching me up I also waited to hold my son. It felt like forever but when I finally got to it was so magical. He was so warm and precious despite the fact that he pooped on me the first chance he got.
Pregnancy IS the hardest experience I have ever been through from start to finish. It is something that I will never forget especially being a first-time mom. The good the bad and the ugly. Whether it be me giving up my pride and allowing every single person in the room seeing my legs wide open, or me pooping on the table for everyone, and even the episiotomy. Yes, I did have 2nd-degree lacerations and needed vaginal stitching which sucked. It was all worth it knowing it meant I got to meet the most important human in my life.
Everyone’s experience is different and this just so happens to be mine. As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. Make sure to check out my Instagram; @T_scorner 💋