(I want to be this worry free again)
I curled into a ball with my PINK blanket wrapped around me, while in the driver’s seat of my car. This was the closest feeling to love I’ve had in weeks. Sad right? All I can hear are my sniffles, birds, and the sounds of happiness from some people outside. I don’t want to get out my car. I feel like this is the only thing I can call mine. I can cry in here, scream in here, do nothing in here. I can do anything in here because it’s mine. It’s so hard pretending to be semi-okay when you aren’t nearly as close to it. Some days I’m at the top and then others I feel lower than the lowest thing I can even think of. It’s not easy having things taken from you. I miss being able to hold my dog whenever I want. I can’t even hug my mom regularly because I never see her. I truly am thankful to everyone who has given me a place to sleep, given me dinner, or just sat next to me and let me cry. Those things will never be forgotten. But, there comes a point where it isn’t enough emotionally. Feeling helpless can take a toll. Emotionally I am a wreck but mentally I am okay. I’m hanging in there because that’s all I can do.
Thanks for reading this random blob of words that I needed to get out. Make sure to follow my Instagram for daily posts; t_scorner 💋