How To Say NO — Understanding Why I’ts Ok To Say NO

Yes, you read the title correctly. It isn’t that easy. I just learned how to say no and I am nearly 21. For years I had problems telling people no for numerous reasons. For example, I felt like I was being mean or I thought the person would actually hate me. As I got older and experienced a lot more it became easier for me to speak my mind. My anxiety played a big part in that. We cannot say yes to everything someone asks or to everyone who asks. When we are saying yes to everything and everyone, when are we making time to do the things we want to do? I do promise you that once you can confidently say no, life becomes a lot less stressful than it probably once was.

Keep reading to find out ways to say no and understand why you should probably be saying it!


Okay first, if someone asks you something and you are completely hesitant to answer, nervous, or maybe even uncomfortable… You should probably say no.

1. Just say NO!

I absolutely hate when people beat around the bush. Flat out say the word no. ‘Um, let me get back to you.’ ‘I don’t know…’ It’s cool to say those things if you really mean it but if you know the answer is no don’t play a silly little game. Be firm. You can always explain later or not because you don’t have to explain yourself when you don’t want to do something.

2. Explain but don’t explain.

So should I explain or not explain? The correct answer is to do as you please! If you do choose to explain why you’ve just said no to someone then keep it brief. Keep it brief because telling a whole story just makes it seem as if you are lying. It even gives the asker some ways to work around it and find other ways to ask.Keep it short and simple “No, I don’t need that right now. Thank you!” Or “Sorry, I honestly just don’t feel up to it.” Or just “ No thanks!”

3. Make it work for you.

If you are on the fence about something provide some alternatives and compromise! If the only thing stopping you is the location, don’t be afraid to throw out some options.

4. Don’t keep em’ waiting!

When you wait a long time to get back to someone you either spend more time thinking about it or forget, wait till the last minute, and end up feeling guilty for saying no so you say yes. It is so pointless and a waste of everyone’s time. Why keep their hopes up if you know the answer is 100 percent going to be no. (I am guilty of this 😒)

5. Be assertive.

Don’t you just hate those people who can’t take no for an answer? I sure as hell do! These people need to understand that you said no for a reason. Change your tone of voice so they know it’s real.

6. Don’t be afraid to change your mind.

I always want to change my mind but never do because of course, I would feel bad. It’s totally okay to change your answer. You have the option to be wishy-washy if you want to. Once you’ve said yes once, doesn’t mean you have to say it again.

7. Stay true to your yourself, your beliefs, and your priorities.

If the money is tight don’t do it. If you aren’t feeling well don’t do it. If it’s truly not something you want then don’t do it. Think about what you could be doing instead. Even if you’d just rather lay in bed. Your time is valuable. Your mind and body are valuable. How you feel matters. If that pushy asker doesn’t get that then maybe they aren’t good to be around. I can’t even count how many times I’ve spent money on things I wish I never had just to make other people happy. In the end, I wasn’t happy. It’s my life so I should be making myself happy first!!!!!!!!!!


Thank you everyone for reading! As usual, all questions and comments are welcome. I enjoy everyone’s feedback! Make sure to follow my Instagram for daily posts; @T_scorner 💋


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