VENI VIDI VICI
I came, I saw, I conquered.
Make sure to read More Life: Part 1! ( ←Click it)
Welcome back! About 3 months ago I went through something pretty rough and I blogged about it. Time went by and things changed. Today I come to you with an update…finally.
For a while, I was blaming everything on everyone else and not even considering myself as part of the problem. I had the mindset of a stubborn child. I truly believed that I couldn’t have done anything wrong. AT ALL. Or maybe deep down inside I did know but I just didn’t want to say anything. Yea the second one seems a bit more like me.
- My attitude is sometimes horrible.
- My pride is sky-high.
- I always need to have the last word.
- I can never show weakness.
Those are just some of the things that usually get me into a bit of trouble. Those are also some of the things that would’ve almost destroyed an amazing family. MY amazing family. I grew up around all of my family so family is everything to me. When I stopped living at home it caused so much chaos for everyone. Almost every day I’d get teary phone calls and sad texts. The guilt was too much to handle. I started to distance myself. I didn’t even feel like I had a family anymore.
I stayed with my brother for the time being. I was so grateful to have a roof over my head and a better relationship with my brother. I would always think about all the money I was spending on unnecessary items like socks, clothes, and tons of food but it wasn’t really adding up with the money coming in at the time. So I got a second job. It didn’t really last long before I started to become so unorganized and lost. I wasn’t eating as much. I was just burning myself out mentally and physically.
I realized when I came back from Mexico that I needed to go back home. I pretty much had an ugly panic attack at the airport (I talked about it on my Instagram). I decided I was going to check myself into Regan 2 again because sadly, all I could think about was ending my life each and every way possible.
Instead of having to be stuck in a smelly hospital I went to stay with some family where I could basically be secluded and run away from my problems. I had a good amount of time to think and came back with a sort of different mindset.
I was so tired of the crying and the stressing. I needed my life back. A family meeting was held. Feelings and tea were spilled and LO AND BEHOLD I was back home. I still have a lot of growing up to do and I am still going to fight to prove to MYSELF that I can do it. I don’t want to ever lose time with my loved ones again. We live in a crazy world and you really never know what can happen. Thank you again to all who have supported me throughout that messy time. I appreciate everyone who has helped me in any way.
Thank you guys for reading, follow my Instagram for daily posts; @T_scorner 💋