Meet Tiani from New Jersey!
Happy Friday everyone! Today’s interview will be featuring me! How are you feeling today mama?
I’m feeling pretty tired today. I could use a nap so I hope Isaiah is in the mood to take one! Update: He did end up napping and so did I 🙂
How many children do you have?
I have 1 son and he’ll be 10 months in just 2 days.
How old were you when you had your first child?
22 years old.
Do you remember your initial reaction when you found out you were pregnant?
I could never forget… I suspected I was pregnant pretty quickly. I kept telling myself I’d give it a week before I took a test because I knew my period would come. I was in denial. So we agreed I’d take a test that coming Saturday. The day before I felt like I just needed to find out. So I went to the dollar store ALONE and picked up 2 tests. I got home and secretly took 1 in the bathroom. The stick immediately turned positive. I kid you not… I stopped breathing. Then I had a quick panic attack and ran to my room to cry to my boyfriend. Yup, that was my reaction. I was scared about it and what others would think.
What first comes to mind when you think of mental health?
When I think of mental health I think of what goes on in your head that no one really knows about. It’s how you truly feel.
Do you suffer from any mental illnesses yourself?
I was diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety, and PTSD. A lot of people dont really know about the PTSD part but I was hit by a car when I was a little girl (maybe i’ll tell the story in a future blog post) and have since been in many car accidents. PTSD can come from many things.
How was your mental health before you became a mama? How has motherhood changed or improved your mental health?
Before becoming a mother, my mental health was like a roller coaster. Always up and down. You guys know I was hospitalized for self-harming. Since having Isaiah, I do feel a lot more stable. I feel like a whole new person. I was blessed with a tiny human. I was given this huge responsibility. Yea it’s hard but I dont find myself nearly as upset as I used to be. I’ve had a handful of dark days but I bounced back fast. So it’s definitely improved a ton!
Do you self-care?
I used to self-care A LOT but of course, life happens. Before the pandemic, I loved to get my nails and toes done. Now my idea of self-care is what my friend and I call “Tiani Time”. This is my alone time where I usually get to have a super long shower and wash my hair. Followed by a large glass of wine on the couch just chilling.
Do you have any stories you’d like to share?
This is not really a story but I’d like to share how rewarding it is to be a mother. Not only do I get to smooch the cutest tiny human ever but I’m also able to connect with other moms on an even deeper level. It’s also so nice to meet moms from all over who are open and just really kind. Motherhood can be isolating at times and I didnt understand that until I was in the position myself.
Advice for other mamas…
You dont have to follow in anyone’s “parenting footsteps”. As a new mom and even as a person with really bad anxiety in general. I found it kind of hard to say no to people at times. Or I didn’t really know how to express how I really felt without making anyone feel bad. For example, I got a little bit of heat for stopping breastfeeding. I wrote a whole post about that you can check out HERE. At the end of the day, It was my decision and as long as my baby was healthy and safe I didn’t see the problem. Dont let anyone make you feel less about the decisions you make for you and your baby. I’m sure it’s for a good reason.
Dont be afraid to ask or accept help! I know this gets said a lot but its because its so important. I remember in the newborn stages I was so sleep deprived it turned me into a person I dont ever want to be. I wanted help so bad so that I can at least get a couple of hours of sleep. I didn’t want to ask knowing my mom was downstairs ready to help me whenever. I thought since I’m his mom, I should be the one to care for him. But how can I if I’m literally a walking Zombie? Thankfully my mom was able to give me those hours of rest.
Let’s lighten it up!
What’s your drink of choice?
I love all types of drinks! It mostly depends on my mood. When I go out to a bar I usually order the margarita. If I am at a nice restaurant I go with a dry red wine. At home, I drink a lot of Pure Leaf Iced tea… It’s one of my guilty pleasures.
What’s the cutest thing your kid has done?
Isaiah’s really active and he likes to play. So now what he does with his stacking toys is try to put one inside one another instead of on top of. Every time he gets one in he gets SO excited and looks to me to clap for him. It’s literally the cutest thing ever!
Do you have a favorite restaurant or snack?
This is a hard one! I’m not eating how I used to which is unlike me. Because of the pandemic I’ve rarely eaten out. At home, I’d say my favorite snack is something sweet like a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie. Yes, I’ve baked 2 cookies once just because I wanted it. Ha!
Tell us your go-to song at the moment!
Anything by Pop Smoke, duh!
What’s one thing you want to do when this pandemic ends?
I’m going to make it 2 things just cause. The first thing I’d want to do is have a huge family party. I just like getting together with all of my family especially when its been a while. Then I would love to go on a vacation with my son and boyfriend. Somewhere peaceful with animals and also water.
Interested in being interviewed for Mothers & Mental Health?
Your voice and your story matter. Send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject INTERVIEW and I will get back to you as soon as possible.
As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @tianiangela_ and my latest video on Youtube💋