5 Years Ago, I Tried To End My Life

5 years ago today, I made a terrible decision to try and end my life. I recklessly abused my prescribed medication which resulted in my 7-day stay in the psychiatric unit. I was so mentally unstable that that wasn’t even the first time but it was the closest I’d ever gotten to succeeding. I can still remember the daze I was in, not even acknowledging the hurt I had just put my family through. I can still hear my mother’s distraught voice calling my name. It’s a distant memory I rarely remember until this time of year. You can read more about my stay in the hospital by clicking here.

Thank you to everyone for supporting my blog and allowing me to share my story, my thoughts, and just to overall express myself. If it hadn’t been for this platform, I’m not sure how things would’ve turned out for me. Yes, I went through therapy but that eventually ended. Yes, I’ve tried medication again, but ultimately it could never be an option since medication put me in the hospital anyway. My blog has been the steadiest form of therapy for me, thus far. I also want to thank my family and close friends who were there for me then and those who are there for me now. All of the endless love and support will never go unnoticed.

There’s no doubt that I’ve had my ups and extreme downs but I’ve been a lot smarter about how I handle them. I’ve since found safer coping mechanisms, that allow me to feel every emotion without feeling the need to harm myself. Now, I can’t lie and say those negative thoughts just disappeared forever because that wouldn’t be the case. This year has been pretty tough, and my mind started to play tricks with me but I now know that it’s just a test from the Devil himself. I’m stronger than that, and my God is even STRONGER.

I just want to end this post by saying, I know things can get rough. I know it feels like the universe can be working against us. I know what it’s like to see black while feeling a ton of weight on your chest. I’ve felt it all, trust me but I learned that these are just the seasons of our life passing. Not every season will be shining bright like summer but eventually, the season passes. These phases in our life are molding us, teaching us to be who we are meant to be. Our story is still being written. Please do not give up. You are loved. You are worthy. You are special. Never forget that.

Here are some helpful resources if you or someone else may need help:

National Institute of Mental Health
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Dial: 998 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

Text HOME to:
US & CA – 741-741
UK – 85258
Ireland – 50808

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As always, thanks so much for reading! Questions, comments, and feedback are always welcome. If you enjoyed this post, please comment, like and share! Make sure to check out my Instagram; @tianiangela_ and my latest video on YouTube💋